When thinking about romance, what typically comes to mind is candlelight dinners, flowers and walking hand-in-hand on a beach at sunset – but that’s certainly not all that I hope to represent with this website because I realise romance doesn’t mean the same for everyone.
When done right, any form of romance can have the desired effect of a long-lasting, happy relationship. That is because, romance is in essence, continuously going the extra mile towards making your partner feel valued and loved – even long after you’ve met. The benefits of a happy relationship are endless which absolutely makes it worth trying to get romance right.
How do you know you are doing romance right?
The excellent book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (which I highly recommend reading if you haven’t yet!) teaches us that it’s important to find out what makes your partner feel loved. If you keep expressing your love in a way that makes YOU feel loved, but not your partner – it’s, unfortunately, good efforts (mostly) gone wasted.
So how do you find out how to romance your partner most effectively?
You could just take the plunge and ask him/her to give you an honest answer like I did! Be warned though – you might not hear what you want to hear, have to face that your efforts have not been received as you had hoped or be very surprised that it’s not what you thought.
I think I went into shock when my husband told me that romantic dinners with candle lights “doesn’t do anything” for him when I thought it was just magical. This completely boggled my mind – did he not appreciate the romantic dinners I’ve worked hard on setting up for us to enjoy or planning and spending on for us to create amazing memories together during our romantic escapes?
I can understand the obvious that he wouldn’t appreciate receiving flowers in the same way I do, but candlelight dinners?
He went on to explain that he realises and appreciates it as a gesture geared to making him feel special, but it would mean a lot more to him if the effort was put towards something he really enjoys such as action movies or adrenalin-inducing activities.
It was hard to get my head around, but that’s exactly how I learned that romance can take the shape of adventure.
I’ve been applying what I had learnt from my husband’s beautiful honesty in planning his birthday surprises that followed, and I can honestly tell you, the difference in his reactions are astounding. The pure joy that I can see in his face as he’s taking part in the adventurous experiences I’ve planned for him has honestly become some of the most rewarding and most memorable moments for me of our life together.
There was a stark difference in the birthday weekend I planned for my husband where we stayed in a luxurious treehouse – he slept most of the day versus the next birthday where I arranged for him to drive a Ferrari. I hear you thinking that driving an expensive car would make any man smile but no, the adventurous experiences you choose to romance your partner with doesn’t have to be costly. Hubby was also very happy with affordable and thrilling go-kart racing we enjoyed at Slideways Go Karting in Eagle Farm.
“Surprised hubby with two awesome go-karting races at @slidewaysgokarting in Eagle Farm for his birthday. Their brand new multi-level track was absolutely worth the wait! Seeing hubby enjoy something I know he loves so much has got to be the best feeling in the world. In my latest blog titled How to romance your boyfriend or husband in ways he would appreciate most ( link: bit.ly/REromance ) I talk about how I learnt the hard way that the efforts I put into planning what I thought was awesome birthday surprises were actually not always as effective in expressing my love for him as I had hoped… By sharing what I learnt with you, I hope you will also find ways to express your love to your husband or boyfriend better if you’d like to ❤” ~ romantic recommendation by @travelingromantic #Brisbane #dateideas #birthdaysurprise #discoverbrisbane
I find the best birthday gifts are ones we can enjoy together haha and although I’m not great at go-karting, coming second to my husband in a race I planned for him and he loved very much made me feel like the #1 wife 🙂
It’s for these reasons that I’ve ensured that adventurous, romantic recommendations (affordable and luxurious) will also be included in the upcoming Romantic Explorers Directory for couples who love to explore. Very soon you will be able to tap into your mobile to view or recommend romantic things to do around you, in your city or while travelling abroad.
While this brand new romantic travel directory for couples is being finalised to launch at the start of August, you are invited to join our Facebook community in the meantime to find or share romantic recommendations in your area or around the globe.
Here’s wishing you luck and love in discovering how to effectively romance your man!
Have you learnt anything from reading this blog or have something to add? Please leave your comments or questions below, I’d love to hear from you 🙂 You can also Pin it to Pinterest by clicking on the image below to read through next time when you are planning a romantic surprise for your partner.